Issue 220 Only 1 winner December 4, 2013

Following on yesterday’s theme of not rewarding failure, I would like to discuss why students are now being given out participation trophies. So even if there is a single winner, everyone still gets a prize of some sort. Stop making our kids a bunch of sissy's.

Feel good mentality: The reason why children are being given all these awards is because of the feel good mentality. That you did something great even if you failed, or lost. People don't like the idea of children feeling disappointed and dejected after having lost a game of baseball, or in a contest like a spelling bee. They want all these kids to continue feeling great about themselves regardless of their results. So basically it is all about protecting their feelings.

Sissies: Cut the crap. By rewarding failure here you are doing a disservice to children. You are essentially telling the kids that when they fail at something that they will still be rewarded regardless. Problem is that the world has not, nor will it ever work that way. People are rewarded for their efforts if and only if they get results. Our society is merit based and the sports and contests should reflect that. Sure I don't want to see children cry because they lost, that they were not the best. However, crying about it gets you no where in life. If you want to be the best next time, if you want that reward, then you have to earn it through hard work. If parents and adults in general taught this to there children, then these kids might just grow a back bone and stop throwing a tantrum every time they don't get things there way.

2nd and 3rd: As this trend of rewarding failure continues, I question even the wisdom of second and third place. Third place is insignificant compared to first and second, while second is simply the first loser. Or the best out of the losers if you will. In society, there are never rewards for third place in anything, but in certain instances rewards do come to those who come in second, but it is rare. So why continue with concept of second and third place in sports or anything for that matter. I can understand the argument that they are the next two best out of all the participants, but that simply does not cut it. If they loose, tell your kid, "you did your best", and you can reward them yourself for their best efforts. But don't give them a trophy for it when it is not deserved.

Conclusion: I may be being too harsh. Maybe even zealous, but I want America's kids to be mentally prepared for the world ahead. Schools and parents that give out trophies for just showing up do not reward the effort that the child shows. It does not reward the sweat and efforts they put in if they know that they do not have to try hard just to get a prize. It to me looks like you are just showing America's kids that its OK to just out right fail without trying. I don't like the idea of that. So I will not tell you how to raise your kid, but just caution you that rewarding a loss may not be the best thing for your child as the feelings of losing may be more important to their potential future.