Issue 432 Respect is the basis of all relationships October 3, 2014

Respect is of vital importance to any relationship.  But how does it work?

Earned:  Respect is a concept that revolves around an emotional response we get based on the feelings we have for a person.  There is a form of respect that comes from admiration where you wish to emulate that individual.  Then there is one based on bonds of trust.  Of course there are ones based on fear due to how dangerous a person appears to be or simply their reputation.  But this is always earned.  In this case it is earned based on one person's knowledge of the actions and words of the people they are interacting with.  So a bond of trust comes from always telling the truth and being honest toward a particular person.   A bond of admiration is based on how one perceives another person and their own personal values.  From there, it is almost like tally marks counting how good a person is and thus if they are deserving of respect.

Why is it part of relationships?:  The reason it is part of relationships and the key component of a continued successful one is that again it is based on how people see each other.  As human beings who are subject to fallibility, we rely on what we see and hear and we can infer from them to decide what to think of a person.  If a person acts like a fool, and you do not value people who act that way, you will probably not respect them let alone associate with them.  But if you do value the actions of foolish people, and thus seek to be with them, you begin to form bonds through your respect of the said individuals.  If you do not respect someone, then you will either treat them like dirt or ignore them.  But when you do respect them, you value what a person says and does for it shows that you care about them.  It shows that you take notice of the other individual.

Conclusion:  Now that you know that respect is earned and that it is key toward a successful relationship of any variety, will you value it more as a concept?  I write this issue because I feel we are losing this concept based on how we treat one another.  From people talking on their cell phones while talking to you in person, to bumping into you on the street and not apologizing because they do not care, these are examples of a lack of respect for the basic human being.  Strangers have a kind of respect that evolves from how we wish to be treated, but what happens when we lose respect even for a total stranger who minds their own business, and has done nothing but good things?  What happens is that respect as a concept loses value and thus, we as a society lose cohesion and thus cease to be a united people.